I’m Listening!

Listening for Understanding

When will we as a society stop yelling at each other and start listening to each other. We are in this together!

If you have ever read “Strength Finders” and/or taken the test to determine your top strengths, my top strength is learner. I love to learn. I love sitting in a classroom or on a webinar and hearing new ideas and concepts. I may not always agree with what I hear or integrate this new knowledge into my life, but I never find it a waste of time to listen. Through my Nia practice I learned the concept of communicating by 1/3 transmitting and 2/3 receiving. Spending 2/3 of my time listening is a great mechanism for learning from others. A friend of mine, Kyshona Armstrong is a music therapist and musician. She has a song out called “Listen.” In one of the lyrics, she asks the question, “Why won’t you listen?”

As I reflect on all the social polarization happening in America and all the talking at each other especially in the arena of politics, I wonder why no one is willing to listen. What are they afraid of hearing? What are they afraid of learning? Are they afraid they might see the humanity in my people? Are they afraid to hear we have the same types of hopes and dreams for our children? Are they afraid to learn our 4th of July family picnics are just as large as our Juneteenth gatherings? We laugh, we cry, we pray, we play, we love, we grieve, we work, we hope and we dream! We are proud of our ancestors, our heritage, our history and culture and we lovingly share it in books, songs, plays, poems and movies. Why not listen? Why not seek understanding of who we are instead of yelling for banning or censorship? What is wrong with being aware of the facts and issues that build this country (the good, the bad and ugly) and being attentive to the lingering issues of racial and social justice in America? What is wrong with remembering and telling our past: slavery, lynchings, Jim Crow, redlining, targeted imminent domain, segregation and other discriminatory practices are all part of our history and have impacted us until this present day. Why do you disparagingly refer to this as being woke? Why does this cause you fear? I have heard the comment that somehow focusing on the Black experience it is somehow a derogatory statement about white people in America and can make white children feel bad about themselves.  My response to this is best summed up by the following quote:

“It’s important for us to also understand that the phase ‘Black Lives Matter’ simply refers to the notion that there’s a specific vulnerability for African Americans that needs to be addressed. It’s not meant to suggest that other lives don’t matter. It’s to suggest that other folks aren’t experiencing this particular vulnerability.” -President Barack Obama

What ever happened to spirited debates, where both sides have equal opportunity to speak with the other side listening and asking questions to seek answering and not asking questions to embarrass the other side or push their side’s agenda. What ever happened to questions like “tell me more?” or “can you explain that further?” What happened to the concept of I don’t agree with your opinion or your ideas but I appreciate your willingness to share.

What would happen if you asked me “What are your hopes and dreams?” Would it scare you to listen? Would it comfort you or anger you if you learned my hopes and dreams are probably similar to yours?

I recognize that there is a percentage of the population that will always hate me and my people simply because of the color of our skin and no amount of listening on their part will change this, but for those who are no so entrenched in their own ideas and opinions and are ready to communicate………..

I’m listening!