Self-Kindness
Practicing Self-Kindness
Practicing self-kindness as an act of embodied social justice.
I made a commitment to myself to write at least once a week. Last week I did not write for my blog and found myself beating myself up for it. Although I had many highlights in the week, all I could seem to focus on is what I lacked or what I did not do. This choice took me out of my body and zapped my vitality/lifeforce. I was falling into the trap of societal norms of an unequal /unjust system that determines my value as a human being by how much I produce and not by the type of person I am.
In Nia we talk about the Joy of Movement and choosing the sensation universal Joy. Staying connected to one’s vitality and lifeforce no matter what is happening in their life. Sensing life and my connection to all living things keeps me grounded, connected to my life and in my body. The first step to establishing justice! Being kind to myself and cutting myself some slack, is an act of resistance against societal norms and promotes my embodied social justice.
I extend kindness and understanding to others, so why do I not extend that same courtesy to myself. Last week, I had many wonderful things going on. I participated in the Black teachers of Nia Jam for Black History Month, I attended a Black Violins concert, and I lead 200 high school students in somatic movement for resiliency. Besides all the great things, we had a snow and ice storm in Michigan that knocked out power for a day and the internet for 4 days. So, with all that, why was I beating myself up for not posting a blog last week? There is enough happening in this world that attacks my sensations of safety, dignity and belonging so why would I heap this on myself.
Lately, I’ve read articles about radical self-acceptance, but I want to cross pollinate that concept with radical self-kindness. Self-acceptance often times is seen as the absence of negative thoughts or attitudes. Where self-kindness is a positive, proactive attitude towards oneself. Both are important and need to be intertwined. What would have happened last week if I had practiced radical self-kindness? If I had approached last week with a positive attitude towards myself, maybe my lifeforce would not have taken a dip as I fretted over having to cancel two Nia classes due to the weather. Why was I kicking myself? I can’t control the weather or power outages! Self-kindness would have been a good choice in this situation. Self-kindness also would have been a good choice as I worried about not writing a blog last week.
Self-kindness is also becoming a vital resource for me as I continue to rethink and develop my career/work life. The last 6 months has been an ebb and flow of figuring out and designing what I want for myself. During the steps back, the messy middles, I have to remember that is the nature of life and not a reflection on who I am as a person. Practicing self-kindness when things aren’t going my way is a challenge for me, but I continue to learn and grow.
What I do know is I am at my best when I am connected to my lifeforce and my vitality is being fed for full optimization. Being kind to myself, helps to restore or maintain my vitality so that I can be fully present in my life and so that I can make decisions from a place of calm and relaxation.
In the end, what did this week teach me? Whether I publish this blog or not-I still love myself!
